Six Poems About Baseball Cards

I....don't even know what to say about these things - I guess we all just get bored sometimes. Just be thankful I didn't include any of the NUMEROUS baseball card haikus I've penned over the years. Some of you more english-major-y folks may notice what I was going for with a few of these, but even if you don't, you're not missing anything. I'm no 2Pac.

_____________________________________________________

1/1

Wherefore art thou, printing plate?

Or game-used patch on acetate?

A strand of hair from a famous actor

or sparkly chrome atomic refractor?

Signature cut from a dead man’s check?

Tobacco wad chewed by Rod Beck?
Is this the pack from which I'll snatch
that All-Star rookie auto-patch?
Seriously, though, what is your deal?
I wonder if you're even real.
I'd like to pull you before I rot.
Are you in this pack? Nope, you’re not.

_____________________________________________________

Acetate

They’re here.

They’re clear.

Get used to it.

_____________________________________________________

The Ken Griffeyjunior

so much depends

upon

a ken griffey

junior

dressed in mariner

blue

holding a black

bat

_____________________________________________________

Puig, Household Name

We're going out to dinner tonight, honey.

With whom?

The Puigs.

The what?

The Puigs.

Are you just making up words?

No, that's their name. Puig.

You mean like pug? Like the dog?

No, just Puig.  Puig.

Puig?

Puig.

Puig. Puig. Sounds weird to me.

Wear the blue tie.

Puig Puig Puig. Yep, still weird.

_____________________________________________________

nineteen eighty eight donruss number one ten

                   w
al                              ly j
oyner

                                    stole



e
  i
      g
        h
          t bases

                      in
nineteeneightyseven

_____________________________________________________

Short Prints

Pulling SP’s makes me holler,

But why is this card forty dollars?

Sparkle Glove, Sparkle Hat.

Sparkle Shoe, Sparkle Bat.

Sparkle Wrist, Sparkle Ball.

These prints are short and never tall.